God gave me a few messages to share this morning:
1. If he gives you the vision, he will give you the provisions. Be obedient to the process and you will be rewarded. Some of your biggest supporters haven’t met you yet.
2. Every Facebook follower ain’t your friend. Some love you, some like you, and some hate you, but want to watch the show. Always let them see you living your best life.
3. On the stage of life, let the hate become noise in the crowd. Every hater doesn’t deserve a response. Let the boos get lost among the applause.
4. ROCKSTARS, Stop giving backstage access to people who should be watching from the cheap seats. Guard your trust. Some want to take from you and then undermine your vision. Get them on the other side of your velvet rope.
5. When you shine bright, some can’t take living in your shadow and will try to throw shade. Keep shining anyway. Your energy brings life to those who need it. Be still, The shady people will remove themselves when they realize they can’t extinguish your fire.
I’m in my feelings right now.
Learning to embrace my feelings, let them wash over me…
Learning to sit in the moment of emotions and contemplate the lessons of life.
Learning to release the feeling into the universe with a prayer to learn from mistakes and lost opportunity. Learning to savor the joy just a little longer and enjoy the Victory.
Learning to convert worry into faith, like a file converts from RGB to CMYK. Life is better and vibrant with more color. Learning to own whatever I feel, to treasure my emotions. They are a part of my DNA. And while, I won’t sit in them too long, I will allow myself the permission to feel them without reprimand.
Feelings create vision… and vision creates future. So, how do you feel?
#feelings #emotions #grateful #thankful #humble #blessed #occupythegym #faith #focus #fitness #emo
Today, I celebrate my 41st year. In the scheme of time, space, and wisdom, I’m just a baby. I still have so much to learn about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I am open to the lessons. I am thankful for the opportunity to live my passion. I am Grateful for the loved ones who support and encourage me. I am blessed beyond measure with the provisions to execute my vision. I am determined to live life more abundantly. I am in love with myself today and thanking God for the gift of life. #birthdaygirl#birthday #leoseason #queen #newlove #stimulating
This is the word of today. It’s a longing… a hopeless longing for the unattainable. It’s an unfulfilled ache in the heart. It’s not knowing if I can be fixed. Do I leave my heart open to be filled, or do I close it off with an emotional tourniquet. Do I let it grow a callous, so that it can never feel this pain again? Despair… it’s worse than heartbreak. Heartbreak is final. A broken heart can mend. But, Despair is the result of hope… a hope for the possibility of love reborn. It makes one… Desperate. And I am desperate. I HATE being desperate. Desperation is not sexy. Desperation is weak. Desperation reeks of uncertainty and failure and insecurity. I hate myself for being desperate for a love that may never return. I hate this feeling of swimming in an ocean of love and not seeing the land of assurance. I’m swimming, and paddling, and trying… desperately. To make her fall back in love with me. She’s thrown me the life line of her love. Love like a best friend’s love. Love like an old confidant. And for now, it’s enough to keep me a float. But, how long will she keep me in the desperate tides, watching me struggle and fight? Will she jump back… in love with me? In love with me like the white hot heat. Like the passionate, I can’t live without you type of love. Or, will she just cut me loose and let me drift away? I seem to forget. I, too, have a choice. How long will I cling to the life line… desperately? I feel like a child, desperate for her approval. Afraid that at any misdeed, she’ll withhold her love from me. I am afraid to think freely, or consider my own needs.
She loves me… She loves me not. The uncertainty leaves me in despair.
My wife keeps asking me if I’m ok. No, I’m not. I absolutely love Prince. I’ll never forget the first time Jaleel took me to see him at the Hollywood Bowl. He paid an obscene amount of money for those tickets, but they were worth EVERY PENNY. We went to the after party, and I actually got to meet him. That was the first time I was ever speechless. He was little, but his presence was massive.
Then, fast forward to my days at A&M with Alison and Monalisa… Prince gave a secret show at his club Glam Slam. You had to know someone to even be invited. I walked up to the club and it was dead silent on the outside, except for his symbol on the door. You knocked, got in and there was wall to wall people. We were literally packed in the buildings like sardines. He kept us waiting for 3 hours. But, when he hit the stage, it was pure brilliance. I’ve been blessed to see him at the Forum. I’d see his show any chance I could. Every single time he gave us everything he had.
Musically, he’s unmatched. A self taught musician that had so much music in him, he fought his record company to release as much as he wanted, when he wanted. He was way ahead of his time.
RIP to a true Legend. My boy DJ Jaycee of V-103 (ATL, Ludacris, The Aphilliates) did the best Prince Mix I ever heard to this day. Enjoy and remember the master. https://www.mixcloud.com/DJJaycee313/the-lake-minnetonka-suite-volume-one-remastered/
It can be hard to focus with all of the social media, projects, gym and technology. I’m trying to practice G.S.D… Get shit done. I’ve got to buckle down and power through. Feels like I’m being pulled in a million directions sometimes. I’m learning that it’s ok to power down and just stay present in the moment, as it relates to the task at hand. It’s ok to not multitask. Just my 2 cents for the day…
9.5 years ago, God sent me a blessing. I received a brilliant, sexy, loving, creative woman as a teammate. You are everything I prayed for and full of qualities I didn’t even know I needed at the time. You’re my biggest fan, supporting me in every way. I knew then, that you’re mine. I say that in the most possessive way possible.
Since we met, we’ve been together through ups and very literal downs. We’ve both seen growth I don’t think we imagined when we met. You continue to be my daily inspiration. 2 years ago today, I pledged my life to you. I’ve never felt more sure about any decision I’ve ever made, than I was about the decision to become one with you. I’m proud and honored to have you. I thank God for you daily because I know he made you perfect for me.
Almost 10 years together and 2 years into our marriage, we still share precious moments. We’re long past the honeymoon stage, and I’m still in love with you. We’re deep into the crust of marriage, and have learned that the words marriage and love are verbs. These words need to be demonstrated daily. It’s my continuing mission to show and prove daily that I love you with my whole heart.
Thank you for your love and commitment. Thank you for pushing me to be greater. Thank you for fanning my flames when my light starts to dim. I promise to always match your effort. You are mine, still.
Happy 2nd Anniversary, Love… Here’s to a continuous lifetime together.
“Hey Man, Don’t you quit.” My boy Cali T said that to me yesterday, as we were meeting to go read to the kids for Cat In the Hat Day at 42nd St. School. Cali has been a major inspiration for me, both on and off the motorcycle set. He’s an amazing father to his son, and a man who puts family and community first. We’ve developed a bond over the years, that starts with a love of our hometown Inglewood, CA. We were discussing my magazine, Black Girls Ride. “Why do you say that?”, I asked. He said, “I can see the devil at work in your life lately… You’ve had a lot of stuff happen.” I nodded in agreement.
Cali doesn’t know it, but God used him as an angel to give me a message and his blessing. Sometimes, when you’re in the midst of a battle, you can’t measure your wins and losses. The end of 2015 and the beginning of 2016 have brought some of the toughest losses I’ve ever had to face. But, through it all, my faith remains as strong as ever. I firmly believe, if God gives you the vision, he will give you the provisions to carry it out. As an entrepreneur, my faith is tested daily. From homelessness to health crisis, death and financial instability, I’m a living testament and God has never let me down.
So, as I go through my struggles, I acknowledge that he sent an angel to deliver me a message. And, it’s a blessing I humbly receive.
Yesterday, I was asked to speak at LA Harley-Davidson of Anaheim on my passion for motorcycle riding and Black Girls Ride Magazine. It hasn’t yet sunk in that I’m living my passion. I’m often asked to speak to ladies who ride, and I’m always humbled. I’ve only been riding for 13 years, and I’ve only done one cross country trip. I’m always proud and happy to share my experience. My one little trip was the time of my life. After I spoke, a few of the ladies came up and let me know that I was an inspiration to them. It’s a great feeling to know that something you do out of pure joy can inspire others. I’m so thankful that I was chosen for the purpose of inspiring other women to ride, and live their passion.